This is an open letter to my younger sisters. I mean the biological ones, although I can think of a few not-technically-related sisters that I would like to say the same things to.
This is actually hard for me to write, because it means admitting that I’ve failed in more than a few ways. Honestly, who enjoys that?

Today I want to write to you about relationships. Specifically family. I’ve heard it said many times, by many people that family are the people in your life that you didn’t get to choose. I think that this is often true, and that it can be both a blessing and a curse. Some people get screwed over. Some people are saddled with truly toxic relatives.

But most are not. Most people are blessed enough to have people that truly care about them. I think that sometimes it’s hard to see that.

I know I had a hard time seeing it. Here’s the thing about family bonds. They are strong, but they are not unbreakable. If you torch your relationship with your family, you will most likely be able to come back. But those bonds will not be the same. There will be burn marks. Scars, and things that will always be sensitive.

Trust me on this one. I did my fair amount of damage during my adolescent years, and during my early adult years. I burned a lot of bridges that I will never be able to rebuild. I had my reasons, yes. Not good ones in retrospect, but reasons. It was a very dark, bad time for me. And for some reason, instead of allowing those who cared about me to help me, I cut them off when I needed them most.

I see a lot of similarities between what I did at different stages in my life, and what some of you, my younger sisters, are doing, and going through. And I feel like it’s partially my fault. If we were closer, maybe you could benefit from my experiences and mistakes. If I hadn’t distanced myself, both emotionally and physically, maybe you wouldn’t feel driven to make the choices that you are making right now. Maybe you would have learned from my example.
Or maybe not. Well, okay, probably not. Because, again, I see me in you, and I know I didn’t learn from those who went before me. But maybe you would have at least heard what I was saying, even if you pretended not to listen.

I hurt when I think of you having to deal with what I dealt with. The regrets, the pain from poor decisions, and the pride that prevented me from admitting that I was in over my head. The pride, most of all, was what caused me to flip the bird to those who cared. I didn’t want to admit that I was unsure of my choices, or that I was drowning in my own head.

Guess what, cupcake. You can wave that middle finger at me all you want. You can burn that bridge to the freaking ground if you like. But know that when you realize that pride is over-rated, and you just want to go back, I’ll be here on the other side of that burnt bridge, with a rope to help you across.
Just don’t let pride stand in the way for too long.

Love,
Your big sister