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Vintage Babbling: I Don’t Have Much

Welcome to Vintage Babbling! Which is a fancy way of saying, ”
I wrote this awhile ago.” This post originally appeared on Bandbacktogether.com in April of 2011. 

Times are currently tough at the House of Babble. I lost my job. We were barely skating by before. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you how scary this all is. The worst part is that we’ve been caught in this cycle FOR YEARS now. Have job, things start to get better, oops-no more job! Times get tough, and we get behind. Find job and start to dig our way out from being behind and then oops-no more job! It’s craptastic.

But I have a secret this time. I have something that I haven’t had very often during the last decade or so.

I have Hope.

I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety all my life. There have been times where Hope was an elusive creature. Now, I find myself with not much of anything, EXCEPT Hope.

Maybe it’s delusional. Maybe it’s a side effect of slightly warmer weather and more sunlight. But as I look around, I’m seeing more silver linings than usual.

I have time to spend with my kids. I have time to focus on my homework. I have time to reorganize and clean things that needed reorganizing and cleaning a LONG TIME AGO. I might even get to write more, or sew something. Camping! My kids LOVE camping, and it’s not an expensive activity. I have all the time in the world right now for camping.

I don’t know what we’re going to do. I don’t know when or where I will find a job.

But for right now, I’m okay with that. Because I have Hope. Hope that I’ll find a job soon, hope that we’ll be able to scrape by until then. Hope that, in the meantime, life won’t suck too much, thanks to aforementioned silver linings.

Dear Band, I don’t have much right now, but I have Hope. And I really want to share it with you.

XOXO

Jen

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This entry was posted on Friday, October 12th, 2012 at 8:00 AM and is filed under Mental. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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  • Cindy

    I have baving trouble finding a job, too. I’m having a hard time holding on to hope. It’s just so awful out there trying to find a job.

    • Thepsychobabble

      I know. This was from over a year ago, and it stretches pretty thin sometimes