ThePsychobabble.net

Dear New 3-year old,

Thepsychobabble — Tue, 07 Sep 2010 22:21:27 +0000

Congratulations on turning three. There were times we weren’t sure you would make it.

Like the week you got your first black eye, banged your head on the coffee table and gouged your forehead on the ATV.

Or the week you did this:

But survive you have.

You’re an odd mixture of too-brave-for-your-own-good and oh-so-cautious.

You are smart, handsome and funny. I am proud of you on so many levels.

Happy Birthday, little man.Slightly Similar Nonsense:

None Found

How the Dog Drained My Bank Account

Thepsychobabble — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 23:40:13 +0000

: Yes, you. And you know it, too, don’t you?

My dog is in so much trouble.

See, we have a fancy-schmancy PetSafe electronic fence. ’tis wireless. And it works by sending a signal out to a collar.

An expensive collar.

Which is missing, thanks to SOMEONE deciding to forage through the brush. Gone, without a trace. We suspect the El Cheapo plastic latch on the collar let go.

And APPARENTLY, someone realized it was missing. While I was at work, and TheMan was supposed to be wrangling creatures of both the four-legged and two-legged variety, SOMEONE sneaked out of the yard.

How do I know this?

Because the lovely police officer TOLD ME SO. The neighbors with whom we do not get along (they were consistently tearing up the residential road at ridiculous speeds, and so we called the cops. Now the whole charming bunch flips us off whenever they drive past) reported a “wild dog” who was scaring them.

The dog shouldn’t have been out of the yard. Period. That’s on us. Or the one of us who was home, at least.

However, she is ridiculously un-aggressive, and based on what they police officer was saying, I *suspect* there may have been exaggeration going on.

Also, we need to get a new dog license. On Tuesday, when the city is back to work.

Oh, but wait. As I went to pull out the paperwork needed to prove that she is not rabid, I noticed that her shots? Are out of date.

Barely.

But still. Out. Of. Date.

So now, I have to buy a replacement collar($120), a license ($40) and a round of shots for the dog.($100-150…and that’s if our vet can get her in on Tuesday…otherwise, who knows how much?)

I’m going to go curl up with my empty wallet now…..

Slightly Similar Nonsense:

Settle Something for Me

Thepsychobabble — Sat, 04 Sep 2010 00:57:08 +0000

After watching the following commercial, the three of us (TheMan, BIL and I) all sat in silence. I looked at TheMan, he looked over to BIL, who looked at me.

I’ve included it, for your viewing pleasure.

Exactly.
So we’re all staring at each other, and I open my mouth to say, “That was the DUMBEST commercial I’ve ever seen.”

The guys crack up, and say they were blown away by the stupid, also.

And *I* open my mouth, and I say, “And did you notice, he was effing BAREFOOT, too???” Like, clearly, omg, this is horrific.

Neither one of the two noticed that the guy in the commercial wasn’t wearing socks when he put on his shoes.

Please, internetz, did you??Slightly Similar Nonsense:

Conversations with the Nearly-3-year-old

Thepsychobabble — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 20:30:47 +0000

The three-in-a-week-year-old boy child and I, snuggling on the floor. He’s in my lap. I wrap my arms around him and start kissing his adorable cheeks. “Whose my baby?” I coo at him, in that ridiculous voice that all parents have.

“Not me!” he declares. “I not a baby, I a BIG BOY!”

Rolling with it, I make sad eyes at him, “Oh, but mama NEEDS a baby, are you sure you’re not my baby? What will I do with NO BABY?”

Soothingly, he pats my head and offers his solution, “Get a baby at daycare? Daycare has LOTS of babies.”

*****

In one short week, we’ll be a baby-free house. I say that like his birthday is the magic day. Preschool looms. Two-wheelers have been half-way mastered, and potty training has been accomplished.

But for now, I’m going to enjoy my baby-on-the-cusp every chance I can. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go embarrass him with kisses now.

Slightly Similar Nonsense:

Blogging, Drafts and Zombies

Thepsychobabble — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 02:23:20 +0000

6 drafts.

SIX drafts.

That is what I have as a result of tonight’s struggle to write. Those six drafts will be added to the stack of other drafts I wrote on other nights, while I struggled to write.

I’m going to go soothe my bruised writing ego by writing about my fictional zombies. There’s less pressure to be good there, because I know how bad it is already. *snort*

Love you,

Jen ThePsychobabble

Slightly Similar Nonsense: