The other day, he was growling at me and biting me. This is a fairly regular thing for him. In his defense, he may have learned it from mommy playing, “Eat the baby!”- a game that involves big sloppy kisses on ticklish ribs and belly. And yes, accompanied by growling and other goofy noises. Don’t give me those side-eyes! I know it’s weird.

Anyway, this particular day he found it even more hilarious than usual to attack the mommy. So I was playing with him, and I turned to Truck and joked, “Your brother is such a weird baby. Adorable, but weird…”

I half expected Truck to leap to Baby Why’s defense. Truck is a very loving big brother, and I didn’t think he’d stand for this teasing about his oh-so-amazing-best-baby-brother-EVER-baby.

But Truck, without missing a beat, or looking up from his book, says to me, “Well…then just lick him.”

Insert screeching-to-a-halt sound effects here.

Just lick him??

I still don’t even know what to say to that one. Slightly Similar Nonsense:

• Conversations with the Nearly-3-year-old
• Minutes
• Conversations with a 4 year old
• Another Boy
• Master of Non-Verbal Communication

I scaled back on the internet stuff- drastically. And then parts of the internet went and hurt my feelings possibly unintentionally and maybe even unknowingly. But I had thought that those parts were my safest corner of the internet, so feelings- they were hurt. And so the internet in it’s entirety was back-burnered.

And, to be honest, I’m still feeling a little disillusioned.
Not to mention busy and overwhelmed.
But that is a whole different story.Slightly Similar Nonsense:

None Found

I think I used up half my time justifying what I was doing.

I do that a lot. I justify what I’m doing, or what I did, or didn’t do. And, most of the time, there’s no need to do so. And yet, I still feel the need to.

I’m not sure why I do that, but I know that it’s something I’m working on.

 Slightly Similar Nonsense:

• A Bittersweet Bowl of Oatmeal

Slightly Similar Nonsense:

• Dose of Happy Monday: Books
• Five More Things To Make Me Happy (#4)
• Happy Things (#7)
• Dose of Happy Monday: The Doctor
• Dose of Happy Monday: Baby Edition

This scares me.

The husband and I have danced around this issue. We don’t have full-blown conversations about what will happen when- or if- I develop Alzheimer’s Disease, but we do talk about different aspects of it in mini-doses.

It’s less scary in small chunks.

I’ve told him a thousand times that he had better take my keys away when I become an unsafe driver. I’ll be pissed, I’m sure, but I need him to do it anyway.

And then I had to clarify that no, I didn’t mean TODAY, smart arse.

We’ve talked about how, after a certain point, I’d rather he not let the medical staff do anything drastic to keep me around.

And I’ve told him repeatedly that I don’t want him to be a martyr to Alzheimer’s. Being a caretaker is difficult, and if- or when- it becomes too hard, I don’t want him to feel any guilt about arranging for other care.

But we’ve never sat down and had a lengthy conversation about this. We dance around the topic, because it’s too much to take in all at once.Slightly Similar Nonsense:

• Eventually, I will lose my mind
• Letters from my Desk
• Things that I am good at doing
• Lemony Snicket, The Lonelies and Mental illness
• Jealousy